littlefallsmets ⋅ 45 ⋅
I write words, I sometimes get to perform them out, sometimes I'm even paid. And I'm trying to get it right, get it right.
with enough repetition, your flaws become your style
Entries 5,153
Page 1 of 207
dec 29 in idea barrages
When you type “happy b-day!” on social media, my brain reads it as “happy bidet!” I like to believe that somewhere there exists his good twin, a humble and mentally stable man named Kan...
dec 27 in idea barrages
And then there is, of course, Olive’s new-age cousin Essential Oyl. The estate attorney couldn’t help herself, she was so attracted to you, she tried to hold you against your will. T...
song as summary in "the next big thing" flash fiction
I was sitting in the Dennys at Sunset and Gower, I was staring in my empty coffee cup. I was thinking that my friend Frank had been lying, he said we’d meet there for a few late-night coffees, b...
a barrage for chrimbo in idea barrages
An Undertale graphic novel would involve comic Sans. Fencers, practice your dodges and jukes against a genuine fainting couch. Now, if you’ve been bad little boys and girls, the Toot...
dec 23 in idea barrages
It’s just vodka, tonic water and blue curaçao. It’s a Vodka Sonic. When someone overvalues possibility against what they have, you say “a bird in the hand’s worth two in the bush”. When ...
dec 21 in idea barrages
Youtube knife nerd videos are the best place to gather stage names. If I’m ever a NASCAR driver, you will know me as “Rust Magnacut”. If we only voted for the person who agreed with us o...
“But… we’re going out in style!” she yelled as she ran into the bedroom, a real Dapper Danielle in her very best suit, throwing her wife’s prettiest sundress onto her, even as she wept upon thei...
dec 19 in idea barrages
Why say he was “killed when he was hit by a car” when you could say he had an “auto immune deficiency”? A movie about class conflict amoungst merpeople called THE GILLED AGE. If you...
the c.e.o. blues in poetry
all the dumbest assholes do cocaine all the dumbest assholes do cocaine how dumb’s a motherfucker gotta be to need to speed up in his brains? all the dumbest assholes do cocaine all the ch...
dec 17 in idea barrages
A software mod can be a real game changer. The real mistake in Space Force was the name. The Air Force isn’t the Sky Force, Space Force should’ve been called The Vacuum Force. That would...
dec 15 in idea barrages
I’d love to read film review very low expectations being barely met. “It wasn’t too long, it was brightly colored, the performers attractive, a fine excuse to purchase children’s snacks in p...
dec 13 in idea barrages
A Ted Danson hosted documentary series about astronomy called “Danson, With The Stars”. The Smurfs theme song but as surf rock. Smurf rock. A spooky bakery called Kneadful Things. ...
prompt: fast, title: off the rails in misc. flash fiction
One of the more interesting holiday traditions to come forth in recent years is “The Polar Express Christmas Train Ride”, where tourist rail services redress one of their leaf-peeping trains wit...
dec 11 in idea barrages
Sometimes when people say “namaste” I honestly hear “nah, I’m gonna stay” and I get terribly confused. You’ll never witness the process of a small cut to your body healing, but every day...
dec 9 in idea barrages
Gravy-making ironically starts with a fond farewell. As with most children’s songs, “Where Is Thumbkin” would be really creepy sung in a slow minor key and horror movies trailers have be...
obvious exegesis in life stuff and misc.
The idea of God being created by powerful men as an example of how we were supposed to treat those powerful men, to their benefit, modeling us how we were supposed to treat our “Betters” in the ...
dec 7 in idea barrages
A magicians’ retirement community in Voilavoila, Washington. Why call it “your ex’s perfume” when you can call it “old bae seasoning”? If you solely drink Labatts and Molson, you don...
prompt: letter, title: the secret chord in misc. flash fiction
Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” is a lot of things which is fine. Leonard was a poet long before he sang, Cohen appreciated the value of ambiguity. When people leave wanting more, constructing thei...
dec 5 in idea barrages
Next year, you could fill a box with a spooky treat for each day of October and call it a Vladvent Calendar. It’s weird being so old you can remember when Saturday Night Live was funny. ...
dec 3 in idea barrages
Some point in their life, every writer has to ask themselves “am I not finishing this because I’m a perfectionist, am I not finishing this because I’m lazy or am I not finishing this because...
dec 1 in idea barrages
If Taco Bell workers weren’t so horribly underpaid, I would order a quesadilla and when I got it, I would be like “one? just one? I ordered an entire CASE of dillas!” but, like, they suffer ...
nov 29 in idea barrages
Upton Funk, diseased meat packing (woo) / Upton Funk, diseased meat packing (woo) Why say “sleep paralysis demon” when you can say “gets me stiff at night demon”? A Christmas parody ...
nov 27 in idea barrages
Snow, I don’t mind, as long as I don’t have to shovel it. Just don’t start playing “Christmas Wrapping” by the Waitresses, the only Christmas music more grating than Mariah Carey or Michael ...
nov 25 in idea barrages
It’s so weird how our culture made “career politician” a bad thing. Well-intentioned rookies don’t know how to get anything done. People who’ve made it a career understand the levers of powe...
nov 23 in idea barrages
Why call it a “butt crack” when you can call it “the bottom line”? Go from strip club to strip club, Trick or Teating tomorrow. A successful bank heist requires a good safe word. ...
