jan 15 in idea barrages

Collecting Garfield crap would be a good hobby because you could never stop. There was so much variety of Garfield crap churned out in the 80s that no one will never know how it all. Devoting your life to it would mean you’ll live forever.

I may or may not be a dreamboat, that depends on your particular taste in men, but I am doubtlessly a gravyboat so, like, that’s at least halfway there.

Your Super Mario/Saved By The Bell mash-up will involve the character Kelly Koopowski.

Anytime you shorten “Greatest Of All Time” to “GOAT”, you’re going to disappoint me. #JeopardyGoat was trending on twitter and I really hoped it was going to be about a Jeopardy playing goat, somehow, and it’s a less fun world because it isn’t.

If your magic trick is to cure an upset stomach, make sure to yell “Alka-KaZAAM”.

When someone says “I married my best friend” at blahblah date then “I met the love of my life” blahblah later date, I get it, that’s a cute way to refer to your spouse and your child? Just accept that people will first jump to the conclusion you’re polyamorous.

Write a novella titled “Gathering Ore” so that it can later be collected with other short stories in a hardcover called “Gathering Ore and other miner works”.

Hipster Hansel and Gretel dont get taken in by a gingerbread house, they get roped in by a food truck made of actual food. Wheels made outta tacos filled with Korean BBQ meat or something.