jan 3 in idea barrages

We aspirated on our aspirations, we consumed until we started coughing up from consumption, wallowed so far in the depths of our dreams the coma was inevitable. We were Americans until we Americouldn’t.

If you want someone to magically divine a perfect location for your Subway franchise, do you go on Twitter and send a Hoagie Dowser DM?

You know, just singing Mick Foley’s theme song as the Dude Love character except about Jude Law. As one does.

I’m sure Disney would never let Kermit the Frog do quaaludes as part of a story but, if he did, he would sound exactly like James Taylor.

It isn’t that humans use tools and that’s what makes us different. Lotsa animals use tools. We are the only ones, however, that have the ability to read the instructions and… we sometimes forget what a difference that is.

No, you cannot hasten your wife’s labour by making her water break via the incantation “Fetal Juice, Fetal Juice, FETAL JUICE!”

“Resolutions” are magical thinking destined to fail under the weight of their own demands. But I’m gonna try to be more courageous and more willing to consider that I might be worthy of the things I want in my life.

I like to believe that the original caveman wizard was named Thogwart and that’s where the name comes from.