weather-heavy barrage in idea barrages

1.) These weathermen and weatherwomen are just a bunch of depth queens right now.

2.) Paraphrasing the so-bad-it-transcends line from MIB2 "you're not sad because the winter's so long, the winter's so long because you're sad."

3.) Of course that dude on all those History Channel pseudo-docs believes in UFOs. His hair clearly outs him as a Babylon 5 alien.

4.) Sometimes it occurs to me, struggling to write poetry, the Ts won't cross, the Is won't dot, they should have sent an astronaut.

5.) Everyone knows that person who when it becomes clear the Weather Channel exaggerated for ratings it's like they got coal in their stocking.

6.) We should all be able to know who all the people who'd be interested in dating us and then, like, they should have to debate each other.

7.) I miss back when weathermen were wrong honestly unlike now when they report the worst-case possibility just to have something to talk about.

8.) If you want it to go viral, put a bottle opener on it for no reason. And bacon, somehow.

9.) Probably the least offensive way to compliment a lady's bosom is to say "you put the ORBS in ADORBS", right?

10.) I'm not saying I'm not deluded too, I don't have religion but I do have the gambler's fallacy and sometimes it is almost as bad.

11.) We hold desperately to the idea there's a bigger story to everything. The bigger a story we can make, the more desperate our clutching.

12.) The Mets need to overpay for Drew even if he's just above-avg as the alternative is the MLB's worst SS. The marginal utility is insane.