dec 4 in idea barrages

Before our society completely collapses, we really ought to bury some stashes of McDonalds memorabilia strategically so that the alien anthropologists think the McDonaldland characters were actually our pantheon of gods.

The pitch meeting for the character Mayor McCheese must’ve been amazing. “You see, he’s a reverse-food-centaur with a giant hamburger for a head…” “Go on…” “…and he’s the MAYOR.” “Gold!”

When you can’t go outside because you fear the Northern Lights are going to attack you, that’s auroraphobia.

Part of how they win is convincing you to shoot for the stars, so you’ll give up when you fail, instead of pushing on to Mars. You can’t get a Trump without millions being tricked into saying “BERNIE OR I’M TAKING MY BALL AND GOING HOME!” That’s the royal scam too.

Why settle for a sexist lazy slant rhyme like “I’ve got hos I’ve got hos in different area codes” when you could be more respectful AND more clever with “I’ve got ladies I’ve got ladies all the way to the Pleiades”?

If only Wesley as a character were like 70% less annoying, the actor could be selling Wil Wheat-Thins right now.

The bed size I want is Alaskan God-Emperor.

Every once in a while, you’re listening to the radio in the car, go into a shop and the song keeps playing and you think “yup, I finally went crazy” before realizing they just have the same radio station on.