dec 3 in idea barrages

If Canadians can somehow stomach the horror that is Clamato, there should be a Canadian protein drink called Mussel Milk.

I feel like the disgusting touch screens at McDonald’s are a stealth attempt to balance out what heard immunity we are losing to antivaxxers.

This region’s rightful inhabitants, the Mohawk, the Oneida, knew damn well this valley is a periodic floodplain with places where permanent structures do not belong. But Western Culture is ahistorical in its bent, however a thing was when they “found” it must be how it always was and always will be.

An emo schoolhouse rock would totally have the song Welcome To The Math Parade.

Considering the Thor character Beta Ray Bill is a horse creature imbued with the power of Asgard, I sure hope someone has called him Bojack Norseman at some point. Deadpool? Probably Deadpool.

Whenever Hollywood hits rock-bottom with nostalgia reboots and we get a The Last Starfighter remake, at least we’ll probably get a hilariously cheap porno parody of it called The Lust Starfighter. It’s not much of a silver lining but there we are.

The only way to bring back music-rhythm games now is to license Ted Danson’s likeness for Danson Danson Revolution.

It’s a good thing I don’t know Photoshop, otherwise I’d lose a whole week taking pictures of Sly Stallone making weird faces and Photoshopping them so that he is playing a guitar and just laying down wicked Guitar Mouth.