aug 23 in idea barrages

You may be sick of my warnings against cloning forest animals but it bears repeating.

Part man, part stonefruit, all cop. APRICOP.

Look, I liked Spidey in the MCU too but this is two mega-corporations fighting a proxy war for each others’ largess and your passionate fandom is just the leverage they went into this planning to exploit. This ain’t a cause, this is peak capitalism

Some people like being called a dog-person, I prefer to call them “werewolves”.

A terrible nu metal band that keeps e-mailing you no matter how often you tell them to stop called LinkedIn Park.

Rebranding Prevacid or Nexium for the 80s Kid Generation as a “reflux capacitor”.

Sifting through the detritus of a culture literally dying of consumption, finding the weird treasures that were meant to be ephemeral, saving them to be exalted as examples of the unconscious truth expressed in utilitarian throwaways, that’s, like, my thing, man.

The realization that the word “artisanal” is just the phrase “art is anal” pushed together into one frankenadjective has me pretty shook, to be honest.