aug 20 in idea barrages

Whenever I see a bar referred to as “Such and Such Taproom” I always first read it as “Such and Such Tampon”. For those businesses sales, I hope I’m the only one.

I just realized that when the ninja turtles put ice cream on their pizza, that’s totally Vanilla Slice.

Hyper critical Daleks are all like “Excoriate! EXCORIATE!”

Dont say she “has a vampire fetish”. She prefers “down for the count.”

I’ve spent my whole life bracing for the worst, crunched up in a semi permanent karmic flinch. I think I need to finally also be prepared for good things too, for once, finally. It’s not just about passively accepting the bad like “this sucks and I can’t change it” its actively “I can’t change it but here’s what I can do”. It is the hardest thing but I gotta see things that way now.

When a bunch of gross old businessmen have an orgy, don’t call it a “lemon party” call it an “all staff”.

A great name for a band is Chestering Fest Wounds.

Was there a line in the new Aladdin about life being nothing but wishes and monkey?