aug 16 in idea barrages

1.) From the wrong angle, those Amish bonnets look like they’re wearing bras as helmets.

2.) LESS BUSINESS CASUAL, MORE BUSINESS CAUSAL!

3.) LESS SQUAD GOALS, MORE GOAT SQUADS!

4.) Optimism must be concretely proven, pessimism must be the initial assumption. If nothing else, this is what the Mets have taught me.

5.) There are friends then there are schmends, people who you only know from social media “you might know this person” lists but never actually met, you still hold slight affinity toward through repetition. If any of my friends share this, I say to the other readers “hello, schmends”.

6.) Sometimes the difference between ruining the world and running the world is “I”.

7.) The ANGRY BIRDS movie was not proof of the insidious ridiculousness of this timeline. There are cheap cash-in disasters in all kinds of dimensions. The fact that it got a THEATRICAL SEQUEL, that’s our causal branch’s unique crapulence.

8.) I want there to be a rival rap fandom in response to ICP that dresses up like The Hamburglar. I want every concert to open screaming “LET’S GET READY TO ROBBLE!” Instead of Faygo, I think they fetishize McDonalds orange drank.