july 19 in idea barrages

1.) The late 80s one-hit wonder for The Escape Club “The Wild Wild West” would be hilarious if covered in the style of Bob Dylan.

2.) On Twitter they’re always having a hate wave. A TOPICAL hate wave.

3.) Only when you find out what “elmo” was slang for amongst pirates do you realize how subversive the Tickle Me Elmo really was.

4.) Peyton Manning definitely looks like a member of the British Royal Family, like, facially, but I don’t know if I’m insulting him more or the British Royal Family more.

5.) You could totally call the Green Lantern Corps “Pigs In Space” and be absolutely technically correct.

6.) A “senior” baseball league where you must be at least 34 but no PEDs testing. Winter, warm weather cities, 4-game weekend serieses only. DHs for catcher & shortstop but pitcher’s gotta hit. Just a glorious mess of knuckleballs, lefty junkballers & barely-ambulatory sluggers.

7.) Their fetish gym will eventually be profitable, they just have to work out the kinks.

8.) Your band will cover Grateful Dead songs in the style of Lou Reed and be called The Velvet Mausoleum.