july 11 in idea barrages

1.) A parody about Zeus’s terrible vengeance called “Greek Lightning”?

2.) Sadly, the one-eyed one-horned flying purple-people eater was driven to extinction through its overly exclusive diet. There weren’t just enough one-eyed one-horned flying purple people around for it to eat.

3.) You never hear anyone say “Yeah, I’m vomiting but at least it’s a DRY heave.”

4.) It’s a treadmill that harnesses the power of your jogging to grind wheat into flour and we call it “The Breadmill”.

5.) Corned beef hash… but REALLY spicy… and we call it “corned beef harsh”.

6.) Your concept album of death metal about Saved By The Bell will be called “A.C. Slayer”.

7.) Do not refer to the venerable Norse prophetess as “Rune Maclanahan”. She has heard it SO many times.

8.) The year is 2025. Posting pictures of yourself online without at least three gimmicky filters is a crime punishable by exile. “Realies” are shamed and shunned at every turn.