june 24 in idea barrages

1.) The enduring paradox of our damned human race is that we don’t live long enough to realize how short life is. It’s too precious to even realize within it how precious the whole thing is, my life, your life, any life. It’s a goddamned shame, really.

2.) There is something vital to what’s broken in our culture laid bare by the way we pose our fashion models to look so stupefying glum. The prettiest people selling the most overpriced status symbols NEED to look bored out of their minds, for some reason.

3.) Do you think “I remember when they used to put theatrical movies on Netflix” will eventually be what “I remember when they used to show music on MTV” was a while back?

4.) I hope the font for the Velveeta logo is called “Velvetica”.

5.) If you smush the names “Bert” and “Ernie” together, you get “Bernie”, and really if you smushed the puppets together, they’d kinda look like the politician too.

6.) So, if gazpacho is meant to be served cold, could you do gazpacho popsicles? Pachicles?

7.) You could call an enema a “can opener”, from a certain point of view.

8.) Today, I realized there’s no song on the execrable GREASE soundtrack called “Let Me Sleep On It”, it’s actually a Meatloaf song called “Paradise By The Dashboard Light”. My inability to tell the difference does not reflect well on Mr. Loaf’s work, I’m afraid.