june 5 in idea barrages

1.) Basically, I’ve shot straight past “exhausted” and discovered the new jam “whyhausted”.

2.) If your toga party doesn’t end with everyone in the house claiming “I Am Partycus!” why are you even holding one?

3.) If there were a Pulitzer Prize for puns, you could win it by demanding they call you the “Aword Winning Author”.

4.) Whenever someone says a person is “spinning in their grave” I imagine a zombie doing the Curly Howard floor spin and I think to myself “that’s a pretty cool corpse”.

5.) I’m not telling you to write a movie about zombie surfers, I’m just saying that if you do, you have to call it BEACH BODIES.

6.) If their hats said MAKE AMERICA GUERNICA AGAIN, it would be a lot more honest and nearly no one wearing the hat would understand what it even meant.

7.) Would Mario Lopez dressed up as one of the Justice League be ACDC?

8.) Whenever I see “happy birthday!” written as “happy b-day!” I imagine they’re saying “happy bidet!” and I wonder, is a bidet happy because nobody’s using it… because it’s a bidet… or is a bidet pleased by being regularly useful?