may24 in idea barrages

1.) The three most important factors in easily-distracted real estate are practice, practice, practice… I mean… location, location, location.

2.) You will cover terrible old rap metal as polka and you will be called Toobashank.

3.) Your French film journal about Westerns in cinema will be called “Yipee Cahiers”.

4.) Today I found out that the shuttered video store on Varick Street I’ve been trying to offer money to sort through and add to my VHS collect was, decades ago, my step-grandfather Ed’s liquor store. It isn’t a small world, it’s microscopic.

5.) I sometimes think about living in a culture so inside-out it can even demonize a saintly word like “welfare” if it means shaming the downtrodden.

6.) Those weren’t the gifts, that was a mistranslation, those were the wise mens’ names: Bill Golden, Steve Frankincense and Julian Murray. All real good guys, treasures, even.

7.) Okay, I’ll say it if nobody else will: this “live-television re-staging Broadway shows or re-filming old sitcoms” trend is some real celebrity-cover-band horsecrap. I prefer when my media at least doesn’t directly admit how lazy it is.

8.) My left arm was itching and I didn’t know why. This winter had been so damnable long I could no longer even consider that I was driving around for five hours on a nice day and got a trucker’s sunburn.