apr29 in idea barrages

1.) I hope that as new sexually-transmitted diseases start getting recorded, they name them after hook-up apps. “Yeah, I got a bad case of the Tinder.”

2.) “I ain’t saying she’s a gravedigger, I’m just saying that the cemetery’s getting bigger…”

3.) On Soviet Twitter, popular culture reacts to you.

4.) “I’ve tried negotiating with Ganon,” Zelda said, “I’ve tried sanctions, I’ve tried blockades, nothing works, Link, I don’t know what to do…” “What if you…” Link paused, “…try force?”

5.) I hope there is an order of Dianetic monks that takes a vow against speaking and I hope they are internally refered to as “Silentologists”.

6.) Fake a limp until you are asked how you got it. Claim that you took shrapnel in the leg during The War on Christmas.

7.) The hipster astrologist was into Mercury BEFORE it was all retrograde.

8.) Enjoy unlimited choir music at The Golden Chorale.