apr16 in idea barrages

1.) The congressperson with the worst manners gets to chair the Inappropriations Committee.

2.) Why do they call it “the scared straight program” when they could call it “prehabilitation”?

3.) The opening to LAWRENCE AND SHIRLEY except they chant “Ph’nglui, mglw’nafh, Cthulhu Waits INCORPORATED!”

4.) They should make Game of Thrones branded milk so they can call it “GoT Milk”.

5.) That moment when you realize that after the duel on the volcano planet, Anakin was a hunka-hunka burnin’ nubs.

6.) The only way this ESPN broadcast of the Mets-Braves game could be worse would be if John Sterling was making the home-run calls.

7.) Microwaved chili is atomically interesting as it can only be one of two temperatures, 45 degrees Fahrenheit or the surface of the sun.

8.) Is your emotional wheelhouse your “feelhouse”?

9.) In the tradition of Fats Domino and Chubby Checker, I think my early-rock-and-roll name is Plump Stratego.

10.) THE QUEST FOR THE HOLY GRAIL 2: THIS TIME, IT’S PERCIVAL.

11.) Would the sequel to “Menace 2 Society” been called “Menace 3 Society”? “2 Menace 2 Society”?

12.) You know a Buddhist hates Taylor Swift if they greet you with the phrase “Not much Tay”.