apr18 in idea barrages

1.) The awfulness of raisins is the market-inefficiency in baked-goods Moneyball. Take any food-stuff with raisins in it, remove the raisins and suddenly you have a delicious food undervalued for its previous raisin-association.

2.) I realized, like, 10 years too late that the funniest way to refer to the show FIREFLY is “Space: 1899”.

3.) Glenn Danzig is a dwarven valor bard.

4.) Rely on the philosopher’s stone too much and you’ll end up with an alchemical dependency.

5.) Why not call retirement “eternity leave”?

6.) Rebooting a recent franchise that was well-liked but not wildly successful is a recipe for failure. Either make a direct HELLBOY sequel with the same team or sit on the property for 15-20 years before the reboot. This is not rocket science.

7.) The secret to maintaining power as a rich idiot, keep a layer of people happy to have an important sounding title between you & the consequences of your actions. Use them as ablative armor you can toss when they’ve soaked too much damage then just get another sucker happy to be there.

8.) Anyone who tells you they know what you’re supposed to do with your life is either insane or trying to sell you something. Or both!

9.) I ain’t need no anonymous thirst trap app to disappoint me when there ain’t no anonymous thirsting to be found. I am at peace with the fact that I am an acquired taste like whiskey or MAC AND ME.

10.) I hope that at least somewhere in the HELLBOY oeuvre, they’ve referred to his team as “Seal Team 666”.

11.) A good way to soften telling someone they gained weight is to couch it in a meta joke, like, “you are culturally appropriating fatness, you are shaming my people”.

12.) Millennials Night at Tampa hockey, where all the sweaters say Tampa Bay Litning instead.

13.) Fabric doesn’t fray from the middle unless you’re actively trying to make it happen. Fabric tends to fray at the edges first and then slowly unravel all the way in until everything’s gone. Society’s like that too.