apr12 in idea barrages

1.) “Will I still be myself when I am a butterfly,” the caterpillar asked “or will I be dead and the butterfly just takes my place?” as he entered his existential chrysalis.

2.) I had the dream again about finding a cache of Little Falls Mets memorabilia and, in the dream, falling over weeping like it proved magic was real, that my childhood delusions of significance were real and then waking up, empty armed.

3.) A head-canon where Daphne is actually the middle name she prefers to go by so that, twenty years later, she can take the Mystery Machine for one last ride in VELMA AND LOUISE.

4.) We will get little pods of powdered Wesley to be re-hydrated at our convenience & leisure. We will consume Wesleys with impunity & discard the pods haphazardly, like decadent gods. We will forget how fulfilling it was to have to crush a Wesley ourselves. So much will be lost.

5.) If you get framed for a crime you didn’t commit, the key is to then immediately legally change your name to Mustache Rides. That way, every idiot in a “Free Mustache Rides” shirt becomes an unwitting ally in your struggle.

6.) If you’re an undercover spy at a chicken farm for the FDA, walking around in that “Federal Breast Inspector” shirt is the best way to get them extra angry after the arrest. It’s like a reverse-Riddler kind of thing.

7.) Whether you have to see them die or you get to have them completed and achieved, either way, may you outlive your dreams.

8.) So often I look at my cellphone and marvel that we’re living in the future and how small they’re making Skinner boxes now.