apr11 in idea barrages

1.) Sell giant omelettes under the name “omes”. Who’s gonna stop you? NOBODY.

2.) I feel like we could put together a pretty strong “90s Rock - Everyone In The Band But The One You Wanted To See” tour, based around a core of, like, Stone Temple Pilots, Alice In Chains, Blind Melon and Sublime.

3.) I’m starting to think they’re making AVENGERS ENDGAME three hours and change just so that there’s anything left to pay to see, with the rate of footage being pumped out for trailers and talk show clips at this point.

4.) 83% of all the stupid things said on the internet that become memes were faked to become memes for being so stupid. The other 17% are all from the guy pretending to be president.

5.) The Grease prequel will kick off the Grease/Crocodile Dundee/Mad Max Cinematic Universe. They’re working on getting the rights to Young Einstein too but how much they can hint at it in the post-credits scene is still pending.

6.) Make a cake with intricate frosting work all in white. When they ask why you’d put in so much work without any color, act exacerbated & say “I threw in everything but the kitchen’s ink!” then die knowing you’re the world’s greatest hero.

7.) I enjoy that fads are cycling through so fast now you can’t even monetize them before they’re passe. TAKE THAT, AD FOR A BABY SHARK WHATEVER TOY THING IN MY FACEBOOK FEED.

8.) Young Steven “Handsome Steve” Buschemi had no idea the mistake of testifying against The Joker in open court and the subsequent horrifying acid attack would turn into a career as a beloved character actor but life can be funny like that.

9.) The new thing is “shipping” romantic pairings of inanimate objects or abstract concepts. Someone wrote about a torrid custard/caramel-sauce coupling and invented flan-fiction.

10.) If there were a conspiracy theory about Christina Applegate, would people call it Applegategate? Would the gates annihilate each other and people would just call it Apple?

11.) When Luke went the Mos Eisley cantina, wasn’t he really just hitting the spacebar?

12.) We built a new digital hive, replacing pheromone trails with likes and follows, we have built the Instagram and we feed Influence to potential queens as were it royal jelly and we wait. We wait for the secret queen to rise up. To rise up and probably sell us green tea.