apr9 in idea barrages

1.) Who hamburgles the hamburglemen? Ask not for whom the ham burgles. It burgles for thee.

2.) The Maltese Falcon hatched from an egg maguffin.

3.) The main problem with writing a parody of Toto’s Africa about Dracula (“something the fangs of Draaaaaac-u-la”) would be having to listen to Toto’s Africa.

4.) Long goodbyes are often much adieu about nothing.

5.) Your doom-metal band will be called Madison Square Gorgon.

6.) That feeling when you look out on a sunny April 7th day and think “maybe only two more snowstorms this spring”.

7.) If a “fake progressive” is what we need to beat Trump, bring on the fake progressives. Sometimes progress is stopping regression then going forward with the long game of progress. If 2016 didn’t teach people this lesson, American democracy has failed.

8.) The stroller my mom bought for her dog has been dubbed “the rolling throne”.

9.) Your romantic ballad about centaurs will be called Love Is A Cattlefield.

10.) Porky Pig’s attempt at faking a fight to impress Petunia was incredibly ham-fisted.

11.) Did the California Raisins ever get into a battle of the bands with the Rap Scallions?

12.) Sometimes I want to believe that we’re connected to the people we love via a thin silver cord from heart to heart, no matter the distance, not because I literally believe it but because I want to metaphorically.