mar28 in idea barrages

1.) When writing fiction based on real people places or events, the key is to try and stick to the real, unless something made-up would be more emotionally true, then go with that. Like how Roger Rabbit can slip the handcuffs but only if it’s funny.

2.) The robot voice scam pretending to be Microsoft has figured out how to show up as “Voicemail” as an incoming call on my cell phone. One step closer to Skynet.

3.) If you haven’t heard of the Boston All-Steak Diet yet, don’t worry, no ham, no fowl.

4.) Omarosa’s Amarosa Rolls will take the nation by storm but they will be terrible.

5.) Overheard someone else’s phone call “That was really socially inappropriate of you, you can be really stupid like that, you know?” and I am so angry I’ve never written a line that funny.

6.) Cutting funding to the Special Olympics is basically a “I want to see how much evil I can get away with” move. It is a dominance move in an age of absurd cartoonish villainy.

7.) Some of us have demons, some of us have ghosts, most of us have both, all of us have something. I have a lot more ghosts than I do demons, I guess, but that’s not something good or bad, it’s just who I particularly am.

8.) “A pill-addicted exorcist frantically attempts to banish a haunted catacombs before he runs out of drugs and before the ghosts get him first” is a great way to contextualize PAC-MAN.

9.) Naming your child “Asseen” is a long shot bet but if they DO grow up to be a talk show host “Asseen On TV” would be the greatest name for a talk show ever so maybe it’s worth it.

10.) Now the hackiest parody I would ever write would be to the tune of Blind Melon’s “No Rain”, be about Chinese food and called “Lo Mein”.