mar17 in idea barrages

1.) People who think we can reverse global warming by talking nice about the planet are proponents of the flatter-Earth theory.

2.) Whenever Syracuse is good at basketball or football again, have a bunch of people dress up in spiky orange Road Warrior armor and sit together as “The Legion of Dome”.

3.) Internet addiction is simple code-dependence.

4.) Never mind the ides of March, beware the idle marching.

5.) All bathrooms require one good heavy hardcover book for throwing at the door, when the cat has shoved it open in the middle of your doings there. Perhaps some day this novel I’m working on again can be yours.

6.) I’ve barely passed two different drivers’ tests because I don’t trust my judgement while backing up. I can’t parallel park or back out without a clear shot out. When allowed to only go forward, I’m pretty great. This is also a metaphor.

7.) Few of us could ever have been diamonds, doomed as pig-iron by our births. Even lowly ore however, if set on fire and beaten against rocks for long enough, can be tempered to the point of being so very much more.

8.) If you combine circuit fitness and crosstraining, you’d get Stations of The Crosstraining, just in time for Easter. Some workouts are so intense, you need two or three days of recovery…

9.) A real power move would be naming your band “Invisible Touch” but not as a Genesis cover band, getting really big and then calling your sixth album “Genesis” just to drop the mic on Phil Collins.

10.) Balance is what’s required to walk along the pathway multifold luminous, one foot in each side of some false dichotomy, without falling into either side or beginning to imagine that the line is real. These things distinct but without a hard point of distinction. Liminal beings are we, not this crude matter, reckless we cannot be to walk along the road that never really was a road, an indistinguishable gradation between two things interlinked for either to exist, bearing witness to their majesty, holding to their long commissions but holding to it our own way because if not doing it our own way, why would we exist at all, someone else existed to sing the song of that holy name already, there would be no point in doing it twice, temperance and balance to stay upright and chart it out as long as you can draw breath, though don’t take bets.

11.) Buck the trend, play frontgammon instead.

12.) There are two days when Utica is the dystopia the haters claim it to be: St. Pat’s Parade Day and Boilermaker Sunday. It has myriad subtle charms otherwise but, for God’s sake on those two days, if you need do City Things just drive to Albany.

13.) I like to believe that Danica McKellar tipped off the feds on Aunt Becky bribing her kid into college so she could finally ascend to the God-Empress of The Hallmark-Lifetime Industrial Complex and you know what? I’m not mad. Well played, Ms. McKellar.

14.) New Zealand sadly learned the lesson we keep pretending not to learn because there’s too much money to lose by being sane: The way you stop a bad guy with a gun is to keep the gun away in the first place. May we someday see past the money.

15.) A thought is one word, a picture is a thousand words, a prayer one-one-hundredth of a thought. A prayer is one-one-hundred-thousandth of a picture, parenthetically.

16.) If we will haunt, I’m not saying that we will but if we will, if we will haunt, we will not haunt where we died or even necessarily where we lived. We will haunt the place we believed ourselves to belong.