mar16 in idea barrages

1.) We took the clock down as it finally died and the stain it left behind looked like the Starbucks mermaid. Not like Jesus or even like Elvis, even the mystic auguries are just corporate logos now, this is our age.

2.) As important as it is to know how to pick your battles, it’s equally important to know you can’t pick anyone elses.

3.) you’re either a steel-drivin’ man/or you’re driven to steal/this is America, baby/that’s how they tell us to feel/either get left a mansion/or go push the wheel/inheritance is theft/that’s just the deal

4.) If you spin Batman’s head until it pops off, are you twisting The Knight away?

5.) Your band that only plays soft-rock covers of Nine Inch Nails will be called “Ugly Love Machine”.

6.) Rowling being able to “tell” you what happened unwritten behind the text of her books is absurd. She can’t, it isn’t there, after you release a book, the reader decides the rest. Might as well tell us Bill Murray whispered “Buy More Butterbeer” at the end of LOST IN TRANSLATION.

7.) Important to remember, Mayberry wasn’t fictional in that it was a composite, Mayberry was fictional in that nowhere like it has ever existed, not even a little. You take legislated nostalgia as some reflection of a real thing, no, it was always mere confection.

8.) Never assume “genius” when “hard work” is the more likely answer. Never assume “hard work” when “born into it” is the more likely answer.

9.) Oh, these days we wouldn’t take the multiplication of loaves and fishes as such a miracle. Vegans would bitch about promoting fish eating, us diabetics would team up with the Celiacs and the ketonics to complain about all the bread.

10.) facebook and instagram went down for a few hours and this is the realization so many had, if only subconsciously: the only thing worse than an abyss that stares back is an abyss that will not look upon you.

11.) The fact that I have lived without them for 39 years proves they’re not really “essential” oils.

12.) It’s only Pi Day here in America, of course. In Europe, it’s not until the 22nd of July.