feb21 in idea barrages

1.) A zoo membership is the gift that keeps on gibbon.

2.) Bob Barker could raise a lot of money for animal charities if he went viral by founding “Spays Force” right now, is all I’m saying.

3.) Your Dennis The Menace stage musical will be called QUAINT MISBEHAVIN’.

4.) You need a spell of water-breathing. Your bard plays Aqualung on the flute. Nothing happens but, you know, he tried.

5.) Your version of READY PLAYER ONE about Christian pop cultural figures will be called READY PRAYER ONE. The good news is, only “Left Behind” “Veggietales” and “Bibleman” will be involved so, like, cheap to license!

6.) It’s stone that can be solid or liquid depending on what’s more useful at the time. It’s called “pragma”.

7.) Winning, being right, standing firm, it’s a cherry on top but if you’re not doing the good you can with what you have in front of you it’s all rubbish. Are you ameliorating suffering? If not, getting ahead means slightly less than pissing in the wind. At least that waters the grass.

8.) That “How Long It Takes To Get To Get To The Tootsie Roll Centre Of A Tootsie Pop Will Surprise You” article? Ignore it. It’s just lick-bait.

9.) I choose to believe that Mr. Rogers’ last words were “Thank Friday, It’s God”.

10.) Your youtube channel that’s only about Christmas stuff will be called “The Yule Vlog”.

11.) Sadly, the Venn Diagram of people who know the Guns N Roses song “Mr. Brownstone” and people who’d appreciate a parody song about Blackstone The Magician is a vanishingly thin sliver.

12.) To be fair, no one would want a parody of the David Bowie song “Fame” about the defunct department store chain Ames either.

13.) the shoppers said Bradlees, you’re a fine store, super sales for all to see, but the malls soon fell to e-economy, doo-dootin’-doo-dootin’-doo-dootin’-doo

14.) Your foxy-boxing stage name will be Britney Spars.

15.) The world’s greatest retro-video-gaming joke of all time would involve the line “Miss Zaxxon, if you’re nasty.”

16.) In Soviet theatre, leg breaks you.

17.) Having been out-numbered far too long, he caught the glint of one of Raphael’s weapons in the distance, quickly advancing toward him and Donatello could finally breathe “a sai of relief!”

18.) I mean, yeah, a parody of “I Just Wanna Celebrate” about Pavlov’s dog would basically write itself.

Last updated February 20, 2019