feb10 in idea barrages

1.) A show about antique pickers who dress like Chippendales’ dancers on hunts called MACHO MEN’S RANDY SALVAGE.

2.) (1.) Who is the weirdo who uses facebook as their primary video viewing service? (2.) Who is Helen Smash and why is every video by her? Does she have compromising photos of Zuckerberg?

3.) Do you go on a rollercoaster to “win”? No, that’s an absurdity, you can’t “win” at rollercoaster, you get on to have an experience for a limited time. Why are you trying to “win” life? Screw “winning”. If you’re here to “win”, you’ll miss out on this brief ride.

4.) Today’s song for the dog is to the tune of the Gummi Bears theme song and involves the chorus “Ollie-Bear, Pooping Here And There And Everywhere, Spastic Colon That’s Beyond Compare, He Is The Ollie-Bear”.

5.) Last night’s dream: a tournament for a strange variation on blackjack that I didn’t completely understand the rules for, which I won, then some people didn’t want to award me the prize because I (admittedly) won partly on accident.

6.) The people who returned as shiny heroes aren’t the ones to ask, they lucked out & didn’t see it in full. The ones who came home worse for the wear but alive, nightmares, limps, missing pieces, they’re the ones who were there at the realest & can tell the tale.

7.) What you “know” will often fail you, instincts can be wrong, the books you read that others wrote can turn out to be delusional or outmoded now or flat-out lies. What you’ve learned, learned directly from experience, if you’re ever wise, that’s where it comes from.

8.) I hope that there are people who obsessively collect variant Altoids tins because there’s all kind of “mint in package” jokes to be made, if that’s true.