janu20 in idea barrages

1.) The Dairy Council is strongly unified, they watch out for each udder.

2.) Your Johnny Cougar parody about Bronies will be called Little Pink Horses.

3.) On the one hand there is some cool stuff at Vat19. On the other hand, their regular cast of characters is somehow whiter than if FRIENDS and SEX IN THE CITY had a baby and I thought being that white was mathematically impossible.

4.) The Mystique of Celebrity Genius is low-key one of the more toxic forces in our culture. It not only props up calls against diversity but it also protects “problematic geniuses” by pretending there aren’t folks out there just as good at the job but less awful people.

5.) Yeah, I get it, if Avengers Tower gets taken over by Norman Osborn it “makes sense” in further building the Marvel Universe but c’mon. C’MON. I am Old Nerd and for Old Nerd the redemption of the Fantastic Four is even cooler than Avengers Vs. X-Men.

6.) Whatever your take on how the Ghostbusters reboot came out, loved hated or indifferent, at least it TRIED something else, even if you think it failed. A bunch of old dudes putting on baggy jumpsuits in front of blue screens to fight CGI monsters is just depressing.

7.) The facebook spambots are switching up their tactics! For weeks it was “moderately attractive white woman with middle-aged Hindu man’s name” now they’re back to good ol’ “moderately attractive white woman with gibberish name”. Fily Tigana. Jesusing Christ.

8.) Faced with a truth that undermines a lie they’ve built an identity upon, a weak person will reject reality and double-down on the lie. A strong person will tear themselves down to rebuild in the light of truth. That’s the ballgame.

9.) “I didn’t actually say that.” - Bill Murray

10.) Pee-Wee Herman was so ashamed after getting caught publicly masturbating that he couldn’t do it for years afterward but, reports are, he’s finally feeling himself again.

11.) People rag on that SEMI-HOMEMADE show on Food Network but, man, if you can build a semi-trailer at home, you go ride that thing PROUDLY. You go convoy the HELL out of it.

12.) “Kitty purrs/kitty purrs/kitty warms me with his furs” is what I’ve been repeating to the cat lately.

13.) A vigilante who thinks he can fight crime just because he has enough money to buy all the mall ninja swords from the mall ninja store in the mall called “Edgelord” and his sidekick who owns two Cold Steel knives called “Tactic-Al”.

14.) Time to kick back, pop open a cold one and imagine Roy Baty’s “Tears In The Rain” speech delivered in the voice and cadence of the Beetlejuice “Julliard” speech.

15.) There are not enough Thanos/Jesse Spano from “Saved By The Bell” mash-ups around and you damned well know this.

16.) Linus Van Pelt, all grown up, leading a small cult in a fortified compound off the grid somewhere in Idaho, Oregon hipsters greedily ironically hoarding his crude End-Times manifesto pamphlets under the collective title “Gourd Hear Our Prayer”.

17.) A fun title for a book about a life lived with anxiety would be “Panecdotes”.

18.) Candlebox, Live, Bush, Matchbox 20, Collective Soul, the Goo Goo Dolls, Urge Overkill, there is this mushy place in my head where all the post-grunge soft rock bands go and blend into one lump of “meh”.

19.) The second wave of pointless Disney musical remakes, after turning hand-animated movies into live-action/CGI hybrid abominations, will be when they can genetically create the animal creatures and the movies will be GMO/CGI hybrids instead.

20.) Half our problem is that our society views the ability to change your mind in the face of new facts as weakness or flip-floppy corruptibility. It’s why people who were heroes 30 years ago can live to see themselves the villain while changeable heroes stay evergreen.