Valentines' Barrage in idea barrages

1.) An episode of FAMILY GUY where Peter has amnesia so nothing can remind him of a time something happened so it's just 22 min of silence.

2.) 83% of all science fiction stories from the 1950s end with the twist that the male and female leads are Adam and Eve.

3.) A cloud of 300 million Little Brothers can suppress dissent in a way one Big Brother could never dream of.

4.) The irony of the Robocop remake is that it would be greenlit by the same slimy cynical boardroom from in the real Robocop.

5.) They tried eliminating bath salts in Florida but accidentally just eliminated baths. No one noticed.

6.) There is no one who is as great a driver & yet as bad a parker & un-parker of cars as I. This is a metaphor for my entire life.

7.) The next big social networking fad will be using phones to Terrible Winter Driver Shame.

8.) A Dr. Horrible/Dr. Who crossover where the phrase "Bad Horse" keeps showing up across time.

9.) The television version, of course, is "Wu Tang Clan Ain't Nothing To Find A Stranger In The Alps With".

10.) Ambivalent as I am to Valentines' this year, I still hate April Fools Day a lot more, THE least interesting day to be funny of them all.

11.) I want to sue Dr. Pepper for flavour malpractice. Bleh.

12.) They're a techno band focusing on veterinary topics, they're called "Daktari Teenage Riot".

13.) You are conducting a performance art piece wherein you play out the life of a human being. Keep this in mind. The way you wipe your ass. The way you mourn the long-dead. The way you mutter to yourself in the shower when no one else in the house can hear you. This is all your bravura performance as yourself.

14.) The last few sequences in Synecdoche are now doubly devastating knowing the actor never reached the age he portrayed at the end.

15.) The only way to lose Fantasy Calvinball is to not draft yourself first.

16.) If Russia medals in Skeleton I expect 500 Red Skeleton jokes on my desk by noon the next day. AND PICTURES OF SPIDER-MAN, PARKER. (Whenever demanding anything ever, it is only polite to add AND PICTURES OF SPIDER-MAN, PARKER. to the end of the request.)

17.) An electronics enthusiast's flight or fight response is governed by the Arduino gland.

18.) Brushing Up Against Animals, Bottomless Chasms Remain Leading Causes Of Death In The Mushroom Kingdom.

19.) I am not taking that "what state are you?" quiz. I'm just going to assume Ontario and move forward with my life.

20.) A bunch of veterans protect cultural treasures after The Lunar Wars in "The Monolith Men".