christmas barrage in idea barrages

1.) Sometimes I like to say Josh Groban’s name like he’s a He-Man character. Like “Gro-BAN”. Like Gro-Ban and The Masters of Mediocrity.

2.) The version of COME TOGETHER about Ollie starts “Here come ol’ fat-dog/he come poopin’ up slowly/he got super-death breath/he look like a pork roll/I take him out so he can pee/fifteen minutes later/on the couch he still wees”

3.) Being right, that’s good, it’s a solid start. It’s sure better than being wrong. But the next step, the harder step, the more important thing is being humane. If you can be kind, that matters even more than just being “right”. It actually helps.

4.) The Muadib would probably wipe the walls with Darth Vader because if Darth hates sand, imagine what happens when sand WORMS get everywhere?

5.) When someone makes a Twitter account just to like and retweet their main Twitter account, we should call it an “egg macmahon”.

6.) Is an attack by Zeus “Greece Lightning”?

7.) You know “amateur pornography” would sound a lot classier if they just called it “pubic access television”.

8.) At first, being a BDSM clown seemed like a great idea but eventually she took the gag too far.