de20 in idea barrages

1.) Modern cuisine and literature are similar insofaras if it says “deconstructed” in the review, 99% of the time it will be pretentious crap but 1% of the time it will be the best you have ever had.

2.) A holiday drink that makes fun of you to make you like it better called neg nog.

3.) If you’re into leather AND kitsch, does that make you a “pleather daddy”?

4.) I wonder what the age range is of people who, like me, when they hear “Ode To Joy” can only think MOVIES MOVIES MOVIES MOVIES WHEN I WANT MOVIES I WANNA SEE STARZ?

5.) It’s weird how people call the thing they’re gonna be in debt to the bank on for the rest of their lives their “first home” even though they’ve lived many places before. The illusion of ownership is so weird and so weirdly linguistically ingrained into our culture.

6.) Am I weird that I want eight Real Dolls but not for the sex, just to strap them to the ceiling for an upside-down tea party installation art piece?

7.) Your band that only plays death metal covers of Fall Out Boy will be called RADIOACTIVE MAN.

8.) Thursday will, of course, be the national tabletop role-playing holiday “d20”.

9.) Tonight’s song for Ollie is to the tune of the Canadian National Anthem and is called “Oh Fatty Dog”.

10.) If there is a God, She or He and I will have all eternity to wrestle after I’m dead, y’know? Til I find out one way or the other, humanity is my business.

11.) I mean, like, the only way SHARK TANK would be watchable if the judges were three Shaquelle O’Neills and the show was called SHAQ TANK and even then it would only be kinda good.

12.) A rendering of Carlton Banks dancing in the medium of dried pasta called “Fettuccine Alfonso”.