de3 in idea barrages

1.) I wanna just wander around looking at the world, at the people, at the things they’ve made, I am of the sub-species meander-thal.

2.) If your cult makes its own dairy products in its fortress, is that compound butter?

3.) Think your orchestra is overstuffed? There’s always room for cello!

4.) “Whooooa fat doggy, like a lamb, whooooa fat doggy, like a ham, fat doggy ate some food, like a lamb, his done farts gone rude, like a ham” is the song for Ollie, to the tune of BLACK BETTY, tonight.

5.) Italian restaurants power their lights and other electrics by going in the back, making antipasto and pasto collide into each other, annihilating into pure energy and then just using that.

6.) If I owned a city in British Columbia, I would re-name it “One Million” so all the maps would have to call it “One Million B.C.” and then I’d open a dinosaur themed amusement park.

7.) There is in the world something called a “Wawa Gobbler” but it isn’t a sex act, it is a bad turkey sandwich in a gas station in New Jersey. We are constantly failing the potential glory of the English language.

8.) Your Bowie parody about the Heath Ledger Joker will be called “Scarred Man”.

9.) It’s beginning to look a lot like Crispix… the rip-off of Chex…

10.) Just once it’d be awesome if at the point of a holiday special where someone learns the “true meaning of Christmas” they just time-travel to ancient Rome and have Saturnalia explained to them.

11.) Yeah, of course pure communism failed. It failed almost as badly as pure capitalism has here. Any pure ideology eats it because purity of any ideology ignores the practical needs of people in the moment. Mixed-model, baby, whatever works, whatever’s humane.

12.) It’s really organic violence. It’s locally-sourced asskicking. It’s really harm-to-table stuff.

13.) When Raphael found his missing weapon, I’ll tell you, it was a sai of relief.

14.) Starcraft is to Korea as Jerry Lewis was to France. This has been your SAT analogy for the day.

15.) Yes, I call the dog “Fatty” but I’m pretty sure that when he’s barking at me, that’s just him calling me “Fatty” in dog so we’re even, we’re cool.

16.) The best way to describe what I do on facebook and twitter, I guess, is that I tried to stuff an entire popular culture at the end of an age into my head and these puns are, like, belches of indigestion after that poorly-thought-through feast.

17.) If you are a self-loathing otaku, you can always just sell your fellows a brand of saki called “Weeabooze” and at least make some money off your inner conflict.

18.) A good thumbnail of my politics is that I trust the government significantly more than I do big business or organized religion which is to damn the government with faint praise, of course, but it’s still the truth.

19.) Social media negated the Airing of Grievances part of Festivus on “Seinfeld”. Social media is Airing of Grievances, 365 24/7, all grievance airing all the damn time.