no6 in idea barrages

1.) One of the secret ingredients in Gandalf’s pipe-weed blend is elvish parsley.

2.) People these days will get all hot and bothered over sexy Draculas or sexy Wolfmen but almost no one will put their mummy where their mouth is.

3.) What is with the weird open mouth smile hipster dudes are doing in photos lately? Is this some kind of ironyman duckface I was not made aware of?

4.) Blaming refugees for wanting work so they can eat is easier than blaming unscrupulous employers for exploiting them or blaming the factors that forced them to become refugees, sure, but know that line of thinking has never accomplished anything.

5.) One of the main plot devices of the Star Wars prequels was literally an insane clone posse.

6.) In the A-TEAM reboot, they could’ve had the van stall, had the guys start yelling “BA! BA! Start!” and woven it into a reference to the Contra code on the old Nintendo but, again, I wasn’t consulted and we all suffered for it.

7.) You may be wondering “Mike, is there anything on television you ever identified with more deeply than that episode of the Simpsons where Lisa reinvents herself as a cool kid in that beach resort town?” And the answer is no, of course not.

8.) There is no more reinvention now, social media has seen to that. Whoever you were at 12 is who you’re stuck with, the internet receipts of your identity now lock you in amber forever. No more evolving, no more phases, no more discarding ancient shame, just a long eternal now.

9.) HAM SLICED OR WHOLE/SOUP BY THE BOWL/TABLES TO DINE/OR TAKE IT TO GO/line at the counter to be served/you’ll get the cold cuts you deserve/line at the counter to be served/you’ll get the cold cuts you deserve/STEVE’S DELI/we’ll do anything for you/STEVE’S DELI/just tell us what

10.) Gluten-free bread is non-bread but naan-bread is not non-bread, naan-bread is plain-old bread.

11.) Tonight’s special is the Veal Tyson, it’s de grass-fed kind.

12.) Sonic The Hedgehog is sort of the Weezer of video games: the first two were so good that we try to forget how bad everything else is and hope that, somehow, it will get its groove back, even though it has been decades since.

13.) Here is a list of things improved by substituting white chocolate for normal chocolate. This has been the list of things improved by substituting white chocolate for normal chocolate, thank you for reading.

14.) Born with a 1 on his forehead, the Mark of the Best.

15.) I have been, like the rest of the species, occasionally guilty of wanting to be one of The Cool Kids but in my defense, I always thought the weird people were the coolest. I never wanted to run off and join Wall Street but I still sometimes dream of joining the circus.

16.) If someone is running an ad that fear-mongers against immigrants in the same way your own great-grandparents were fear-mongered against, vote for the other person.

17.) A “Silent Lucidity” parody about Christmas festivity?