oc25 in idea barrages

  • Oct. 25, 2018, 1 a.m.
  • |
  • Public

1.) REAL TALK: the third Stooge was always the same character, he was just a timelord that regenerated between Curly/Shemp/Curly Joe/etc.

2.) Your band that covers terrible late 90s/early 00s rap-rock as mandolinny/ukeleley indie rock will be called “Twee-Eleven”.

3.) I love in ads when they have to awkwardly refer to “social media” generically in a way no human being would refer to fb or twitzel or instagram or whatever, because they don’t have a marketed deal with them. It’s like “The Big Game” for the Super Bowl.

4.) With every passing day, Justin Turner looks more and more like a minor character from one of the Hobbit movies.

5.) Alt-left edgelords: “I’m voting for Jill Stein because Clinton would be just as bad as Trump and I want to feel hip!” Two years later, the jackass literally declares himself a nationalist and they’re still defending putting their smugness over their country.

6.) Don’t go chasing waterfalls. They are functionally stationary. They’ll always be right where you left them.

7.) Sex must’ve been weird for Dudley Moore. He never knew if she was asking for more or just saying his full legal to punctuate matters.

8.) Ironically, the remake of Zelda 2 was flawed because they left no room for Error.

9.) “Driller Killer” was a terrible name for a horror movie where the killer used an electric drill. Much better would’ve been “Bored To Death”.

10.) Paradise Lost. Paradise Found. Paradise Misplaced. Paradise Borrowed By A Friend But You Forget. Paradise Knocked Off The Nightstand And Tumbled Under The Bed. Paradise Left In My Other Jacket.

11.) facebook just pushed me an ad for custom special Masonic rings. Am I… so far into a secret society that I don’t even remember but facebook knows?

12.) There are so many metal bands that would’ve been called “Death Leper” had Def Leppard not ruined it for them.

13.) Play too much Pokemon, you could injure your wrists, get Magikarpal Tunnel Syndrome.

14.) In Beetlejuice, the haunter became the haunted.

15.) A spiced bacon product called “Peppa Pig”.

16.) If I was an agent for MMA fighters, I’d definitely call my company Anger Management.

17.) Your feet not being injured because your kid is too young for Legos, that’s Duplomatic immunity.

18.) Constantly pretend to confuse “quinoa” and “ben wa”.

19.) I wonder if Chief O’Brien ever cracked that Ferengi have such big ears because “sound is free” and then Julian dragged him into cultural sensitivity training. I would have written the most mundane character-driven DS9s, you guys.

20.) Had I won the Megamillions, I was going to buy out the naming rights to the Utica Memorial Auditorium from Adirondack Bank and make them rename it “Utica Memorial Auditorium”.

21.) A prequel series to I LOVE LUCY about Ricardo’s early years in Cuba and then in American bands and the final episode ends with Lucy Magillicuddy giving him her digits and saying “Ricky, don’t lose that number.”

22.) Of course the pen is mightier than the sword. Just write “words” three times in a row, that’s two swords already!

23.) The sky’s the limit? DISGUISE THE LIMIT.

24.) The baseball term “spray chart” always sounds just a little dirty to me.


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