oc9 in idea barrages

  • Oct. 9, 2018, 12:19 a.m.
  • |
  • Public

1.) If there is a God and I get a face-to-face with Her or Him, though I’d have harsh words for such a Thing, I would thank God for music nonetheless. Without music, this whole enterprise would be unbearable.

2.) What are you on about, complaining over a generation that got participation trophies? Life is insane and dangerous and hurts badly sometimes, everyone deserves a trophy for getting through.

3.) I hate when “career politician” is used as a slur, that’s just a public servant who has actually been around enough to know how to do their job. It’s business idiots looking to use the public commons as their private piggybank that ruin everything.

4.) Wilshire Boulevard was built by a quack medicine peddler. Commercial radio’s growth was funded by quack medicine too. Home video and the internet’s innovations were driven by pornography. History’s always weirder and dirtier than you think.

5.) I like to call social media “screaming into the void” instead of social media. It’s a much more honest assessment!

6.) Playoff baseball is such a mess and so unlike April to August ball. You do not need two teams to combine for twelve pitchers in a six-to-nothing blowout, you just don’t!

7.) We were raised to conflate progress with time’s passage but they are two very different things. Ask the Romans as their great networks receded into a new dark age. Ask Americans in 2018. History’s arc is not always forward, sadly.

8.) To the kid in front of the Price Chopper in a Confederate Battleflag hoodie: Guy, you’re swarthier than I & they’d’a lynched me for a Papist in a twinkling. Read a book.

9.) Oh, the Performative Camo at the grocery store. That mess of olive drab vomit will sure help you blend into the cereal aisle and hunt you down a Chocula unawares. JESUS.

10.) The best Indiana Jones reference you could get into a Star Trek movie would be the line “No time for love, Doctor Bones.”

11.) We could make it Columbo Day instead. Solving imaginary murders is a lot cooler than getting lost & spreading smallpox plus if anyone argues about it, you can always be like “Just … one more thing…”

12.) The greatest video game of all time would be Super Gwario Brothers and I’m not wrong.

13.) Tilling a field by hand is a harrowing experience.

14.) There’s nothing more gangsta than extreme couponing because scrimpin’ ain’t easy.


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