se23 in idea barrages

1.) A lesser city would celebrate their team’s first win in over two years by setting some cars on fire. Cleveland will out-do them all and set fire to a river.

2.) “Flores shut down due to arthritis in both knees”. Ladies and gentlemen, the Mets have managed to give a 27 year old athlete arthritis. One they were pushing as a shortstop until recently. BAD. TIMELINE.

3.) the actor said “Mandy, she’s a fine film, what a good wife she would be but my whole Nick Cage life is yelling NOT THE BEES!” do dootin do dootin do dootin do

4.) Marines get their internet via se-fi.

5.) Would a MASH Cosplay Convention involve a Gary Burgh-Off?

6.) Once someone in Chicago carried a hot dog in one hand & a salad in the other, tripped, fell, one got on the other & (seeing someone from a coast in eye-line) pretended he meant to do that & ate it. Invented was The Chicago Dog.

7.) You can name your kid Barkevious, fine, and you can have the last name Mingo, fine, but don’t inflict both on a kid. Let Barkevious Jones and Steve Mingo both bear half his burden.

8.) Baron Harkonnen arranged his sexual encounters through SpiceGrindr.

9.) Your sarcastic hipster all female Iron Maiden cover band will be called Irony Maiden.

10.) The first genetically engineered for purpose pop group will be called The Splice Girls.

11.) Really, the Cafe 80s in Back to the Future 2 should’ve been rigged up to enthusiastically take archaic cash & coin as part of the retro kitsch thing.

12.) As annoying as Word’s grammar corrections are, they remind me I’m breaking grammar for conscious effect, reinforcing the validity of knowing the rules to strengthen breaks, which is useful.

13.) At high tide, at the seashore, in your best Tommy Wiseau yell “Oh, high mark!”

14.) A bunch of goth ladies rapping that they “did it all for the spooky”!