se20 in idea barrages

1.) I am watching a rerun of a old terrible gameshow and “Macklemore” is an answer and it reminded me how long we have had to deal with the scourge of the Mackle.

2.) Ironically, having a heavy upper body forces my lower body to be muscular, giving me a good butt and legs. Nature is cruelly funny like that.

3.) If we really had the Voight-Kampf empathy test, it’d be much more useful for excluding sociopaths from political office than for determining who is “real” and who is lab-grown.

4.) When an eel crushed your thigh like a double-jawed guy, that’s a moray.

5.) What he didn’t tell you is that if you listen to 10,000 hours of emo music, you will gain all the powers of his evil twin, Malcolm Sadwell.

6.) Do you hate who you are, what you are or do you just hate the box who you are, what you are, has been put into by this culture? Are you doing the culture’s dirty work for it by rejecting yourself instead of rejecting the culture? Maybe it requires transformation, not you.

7.) Just because it contains their one radio hit doesn’t make it their sell-out album, it doesn’t make a bad album, it just makes it the album with their one radio hit on it.

8.) A terrible person with a lot of money, the money isn’t proof they’re worth idolizing rather it’s proof having money isn’t a measure of a person’s real worth.

9.) Cherry licorice and black licorice exist only as contrasts to remind us how great strawberry licorice is. They are not foods to eat, they are cautionary tales to regard with disdain.

10.) The correct one-liner for the adult film actress describing the fake president’s penis as “like Toad from the Super Mario games” is “thank you Mario but your penis is in another castle!”

11.) Past Mike put a jug of iced tea in the fridge for me. Good guy. He deserves to win the lotto and shack up with a smart woman.

12.) Name your pizza chain Big Brutus, just to make Little Caesars nervous.

13.) Aging rock stars and aging wrestlers, are you balding because you wore a bandana or did you wear a bandana because you were balding?

14.) Youtube knife bros seem to believe that the biggest threats to their lives are soda bottles, car hoods and meat carcasses. If they’re right, it’s going to be a really weird post-apocalypse.

15.) It’s the Boston Beef Diet: no ham, no fowl.