se16 in idea barrages

1.) THE DREW CAREY SHOW was so unfunny, it wasn’t even funny how unfunny it was.

2.) If pressed to write a parody about Pavlov, I’d probably start with “SALIVATE TO BELLS, COME ON, IT’S A SALIVATION!”

3.) I mean, everyone sings “A mon-TAUGGGGGGE, a mon-taaaaaaaaaaaaauge” to the Rocky theme, right?

4.) Whenever I see “gluten free” shortened to “GF” I think they mean “girlfriend” and I’m very confused about this person’s relationship with food.

5.) There is little sadder than driving past a Gelsons and realizing how many of the people in there are picking up a week’s worth of their boss’s food and it costs more than they get paid for months at a time.

6.) To this day, I am still disappointed that “I Come From A Land Down Under” was about Australians as opposed to being about rad mole men or something.

7.) Today I realized that the opposite of Donald Trump is Bob Ross. Served honourably in the military, lots of hair, calming, beloved, good at what he’s supposed to be good at, actually made money selling things.

8.) “All around the world statues crumble for me, I’m banned from all museums…”

9.) Bob And Carol And Ted And Alice didn’t end up with any venereal diseases sharing a bed like that but they did contract a nasty case of conjunctionitis.

10.) in colonial times, you had to make everything from scratch because you were poor as hell, now people make things from scratch because they’re rich and bored and showing off.

11.) If you remember an alternate timeline where you got a culturally-appropriative geometric symbol tattooed on your body, that’s just The Mandala Effect.

12.) The Weather Channel is that kid that starts screaming about how much it hurt when you pulled your punch eight inches away from their arm.