au29 in idea barrages

1.) Your beat-boxing nom de guerre will be “Box Populi”.

2.) If you’re a long-distance trucker for Cheerios and your CB call-sign isn’t “Haulin’ Oats” you’re doing something wrong.

3.) COLONOSCOPY IS AN INSIDE JOB

4.) Everyone getting a trophy is a lot better than a few people getting trophies for being born rich. Positioning equality against a meritocracy that never existed is a sucker’s bet.

5.) Film students don’t call it “pre-gaming”, they call it “establishing shots”.

6.) Raspberry bidet… the kind that they have in Japanese hotel rooms, raspberry bidet…

7.) Sing this showtune with as little passion or affect as possible: “Hello… dully… well, hello… dully…“

8.) The main difference in this timeline from the Terminator timeline is that the A.I. will take over a few decades later and it will be called “Alexasiri” instead of “Skynet”.

9.) Pets are all like “I WANNA PROVE I CAN HUMAN TOO!” or that’s how the dogs are, anyway, the cats are more like “POOR HUMAN, YOU CAN’T EVEN CAT!”

10.) Los Angeles, where the person at the Best Buy returns desk is more conventionally attractive than the most popular person in the most expensive bar back home.

11.) Sometimes you focus on the big terrible things & forget about the obscure terrible things. The series “Gene Roddenberry’s ANDROMEDA” was so terrible, I’m astonished Gene hasn’t risen from the grave to sue for removal of his name.

12.) If you spend enough time walking lines, you might get to the point where you realize the lines are imaginary, the binaries is false and that’s when the fun can begin. You’ll still have to deal with people who fall for the tricks but inside, you will be a bit more free.

13.) Your instant preacher kit doesn’t actually come complete, there is some assembly required.

14.) High-waisted leather pants should be called “dom jeans”.

15.) If I were to say I was surprised that David Wright’s rehab has been put on pause because his body can’t handle three minor league games in a row, I would break the idea of sarcasm.

16.) English is the kind of fun language where you get questions like “Are you anti-probiotics or pro-probiotics?”

17.) Your country act will be called The Winsome Lose Somes.

18.) Your elderly fetish porno will be called “Antiques Chode Show”.

19.) The Hot Pocket is the Donald Trump of calzones.