au30 in idea barrages

1.) Here they come, here they come, like they’ve always done, stigmatizing the ill instead of blaming the gun.

2.) The best thing about re-run game show channels like Buzzr is seeing the prizes and remembering all the airlines that no longer exist.

3.) The slang for a hand job by a taloned she-beast is a “harpy ending”.

4.) That isn’t a used copy of 50 SHADES OF GRAY, that one is bland-spanking new.

5.) I don’t know most of these “People I May Know”, facebook, but some of them are very attractive women and I know you’re just doing this to mock me, facebook. We know each other now, facebook, we can admit these things to each other.

6.) This isn’t about the “redemption” of Louis C.K. a rich guy who made you laugh. This is about the continued suffering of his victims who are human beings just like you.

7.) Before you ask a question, you must always honestly answer for yourself “Why am I asking this question?”

8.) They weren’t sure if she was vaguebooking or not but it was certainly an indistinct possibility.

9.) When you’re trying to turn Star Wars into an unending Marvel series, you have to try to change things enough to keep going forward and not so much that you can’t keep rehashing all the key elements forever. With an intellectual property so limited in scope, that balancing act can’t last. So it goes.?

10.) What did a greyhound ever do to you where you named the most frustrating humiliating form of transit after it? The poor pups deserve better than that.

11.) Non-strawberry Twizzlers are a punishment for our collective sins as a culture.

12.) I can’t figure out if my desire to have a Halloween costume that’s a cheap mask of my own face and a plastic smock with a picture of myself saying “Trick or Treat” is… narcissism or… wanting to be too clever… or both…

13.) The next step after machine consciousness will be machine self-consciousness. Design a robot with bad self-esteem.

14.) No, a thousand tweets would be a cry for help. Fifty-six thousand tweets can only be considered a wail of ennui from the inside of my own navel that I fell into while gazing therein.

15.) I once misread the phrase “The Fat Acceptance Movement” as “The Fate Acceptance Movement” and… I don’t know which I need more?

16.) I always thought John Cougar Mallowmar was singing “long after the threat of living is gone”.

17.) A classic rock parody called “Greedo Shuffle” would be pandering but, I mean, what isn’t pandering at this point in our culture? We are basically all feasting at Pander Express these days.

18.) Somebody wished that they could live in a movie on a cursed monkey’s paw and we got a “presidency” that would be laughed out of the theatre for being cartoonishly crude and cruel and stupid.

19.) If the new Ghostbusters movie didn’t refer to a Slimer sliming as “boo-kake” I think they really missed out.