au27 in idea barrages

1.) Your parody of “April Come She Will” will be a saucy interpretation of the Ninja Turtles canon.

2.) Late Capitalism is the Taco Bell Fourth Meal of economics. Or maybe it’s the other way around? Definitely one or the other. There is Fire Sauce and an ouroboros snake eating its own tail with it, either way.

3.) Jim Parson ending “Big Bang Theory” is a bit like Hitler taking his own life. The horror was all his fault but you have to give him some credit for ending it.

4.) I feel as though without my father, I will never know the spring or the autumn ever again. Wherever I am, the seasons will forever only hard flip from freezing to burning or back, no intermediate crispness or freshness to ever be found again, even if I lived for a thousand more years.

5.) “The Town of Tonawanda” is such a great turn of phrase. Congratulations, Western New York, on naming an entire suburb as an experiment in phonics.

6.) The fact that Tommy Wiseau hasn’t played Loki in a mockbuster of the Thor movies yet continues to mystify me. He is absolutely a greasy copy of a copy of a copy of a copy of that actor Tom Higgledypiggledy and you know it.

7.) Where is our movie about Logan Paul as a suffering old man in a semi-apocalyptic near-future? We felt bad for Wolverine’s slow fade, this schmuck’s slow fade would be an uplifting comedy.

8.) If you want to know what the maximum amount of cowardly rich people shrugging looks like, time-travel back to the moment someone in a boardroom said “We can reboot… Predator, I guess?”

9.) Before the Great Water Filter Merger of ‘73 creating Brita Filters, there were Scotla Filters, Wal Filters, Engla Filters and of course Northernirela Filters.

10.) Her brother, George O’Keefe, was less lauded as an artist but still left a legacy of flowers that looked like penises drawn in bathroom stalls across the truckstops of the American Southwest.