au26 in idea barrages

1.) for now we see, as through a glass broken/as through a screen of busted LCDs/for now we see, as if through a screen dimly or mirror half-shattered/through prismatic crazing, a fractal of fractures/a warped cellphone for eyes half-known/known only in part, just like in Corinthians

2.) HAIKU: mental health is on/a spectrum and too also/is every rainbow

3.) If you’re afraid that your choice in essay collections makes you look like a hipsters, you’ve got Klosterphobia.

4.) His mother didn’t let him marry her because the lady was a shiska and ever since he’s seen her as the one that got oy vey.

5.) The key is to hold two weddings, one in a wonderful place for the people you like and one in a really stuffy humid place for people you hate.

6.) “This song about how beautiful West Virginia is, it’s huge”. signs bill to rip up the last ten square miles of West Virginia not already strip mined for coal

7.) for see things as in a mirror dimly, just like Legolas and Gimli, until they saw each other face-to-face, back-to-back in their battle and not as a race-to-race, once in part as synecdoche, once through a cracked lens dully, we will someday see things fully, as it was in Corinthians

8.) And the award for Cooking Utensil That Sounds The Most Dirty goes to… Spurtle… QVC, come claim your prize.

9.) An early Sesame Street where Groucho the Marxist lectures Oscar on the redistribution of trash by need instead of by inheritance.

10.) Poop must be really stoned, it’s always hitting a bowl.

11.) It’s a fish sandwich on flat bread with a margarita on the side. It’s called the Jeezburger in Paradise.

12.) Perhaps the best gauge of age is when airports start playing the soundtrack of your youth, whether or not you personally liked it. Early (good) Weezer, Use Your Illusion GEN, Oasis. Yes, I am in trouble here.

13.) A techno remix of the One Pharmacy Call klaxon at the CVS.

14.) Fake president thinks attorney client privilege and white privilege are the same thing. Cute.

15.) Your song parody about Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart will be titled “All Neid Long”.

16.) An Elton John parody about Ewoks called “Wicket, Man”?

17.) I like to think that the airline Aer Lingus specifically chose a name that sounds like an obscure sex act, just to mess with Americans. And rightly so!

18.) “Why can’t young people pay to keep longstanding businesses going?” asks a generation that oversaw our economy being hollowed out by the shortsightedness of the quarterly investment class and the lunacy of deluded techdouches.

19.) You don’t make s’mores at a winter campout for the risk of it bubbling over and ending up smitten.

20.) You may well be correct in your suspicion that you are a broken secret genius and if the right person comes along to fix you, you could be a worldbeater. Problem is, though, it isn’t anyone’s job to fix you, other than you.

21.) Haiku: used to be so scared/and now it just exhausts me/my life as in flight