au14 in idea barrages

1.) Hepatitis-Cat is a relatively mild strain, it merely makes you into a beatnik.

2.) If Herman, Lily, Eddie and Grandpa were all murdered by a descendant of Van Helsing, would they change the name of the show to MARILYN’S MANSION?

3.) Whenever a foodie hipster refers to over-priced gourmet food truck fare as “street food”, always reply with a confused tone “…you mean, like, road kill?”

4.) Forget how many ALIEN movies there were? Just get out your Giger Counter.

5.) Everyone gets a brunch name, a code name you use when you brunch. Your brunch name is Nelly Frittata. Go. Go use your name in good health, Nelly, as you drink mimosas and also hollandaise sauce.

6.) Converting a Star Trek Stardate into Common Era is easier than you might think, just cut a Captain’s Log in half and count the rings.

7.) The tilt of the Earth is the reason for the season.

8.) Are the sticks for lollipops just circumcised q-tips?

9.) If you unironically refer to yourself as an “influencer” it means you’ve lost all touch with reality. That is like a term for a villain-class in a roleplaying game, not an actual type of human. Don’t aspire to flattening yourself into two dimensions with a definition like that.

10.) You have to pay extra to line up and confess directly to Santa, others must use the elf-service lanes.

11.) A parody of “No Diggity” that involves the line “I like the way you slice it, Charcuterie, Charcuterie”.

12.) I’ve always enjoyed that advertising circulars are almost always rectangular.

13.) Whenever you’re talking about GRR Martin, definitely pretend that you think that the proper pronunciation is “Grrrrrrr”. Like, “oh I love the books by (low murmuring growl) Martin!”

14.) I’m an Admiral for The United Federation of Panic.

15.) They debated why Scarecrow was the one Dorothy would miss most of all but it sadly never really got beyond being a strawman argument.

16.) Current nickname for the fake president: Orangejuiceilinni.