au6 in idea barrages

1.) If you skulk around apiaries, you’re a bee creeper.

2.) Technically, Blur’s “Song 2” would mash-up well with Rob Thomas’s “Smooth” but… it would only bring Song 2 down. WOO-HOO!

3.) The Harvey Dent Corollary: If you remain naive enough to let yourself make heroes of strangers you’ll never meet, they’ll all either die your heroes or they’ll live long enough for you to see William Shatner become a hateful alt-right twitter troll.

4.) The best way to not be hideously depressed all the time is to fastidiously avoid all dating/hook-up websites and apps.

5.) The thing about “term limits” is… they sound great in theory but without campaign finance reform, all they do is reject seasoned legislators who’ve built up enough of a name to have some independence and replace them with a carousel of lobbyist-dependent newbies.

6.) Galaxy-brain wokeness: realizing that from my point of privilege, it would kind of be culturally appropriative for me to be the one on twitter musing about cultural appropriation.

7.) A brief period in Gallagher’s career where he wanted to be taken seriously so he switched from prop-comedy to melondramatics.

8.) Isn’t it weird how fascists and racists always give their little hate-clubs the most childish names imaginable? The “Ku Klux Klan” sounds like a party of war orcs from a 12 yr old’s first D&D campaign. The “Proud Boys” sounds like a sign on that kid’s 7 yr old brother’s treefort.

9.) Data’s daughter was built not with Data’s positronic martix but the next level of technology, the postironic matrix, making her history’s first hipster android.

10.) Are Batman’s feelings hurt that his wedding fell apart? Is he now a bruised swain?

11.) I don’t know what the geo-cultural equivalent to the Jersey Shore would be in north of the border but I know the title of the reality show would have to be “Bro, Canada!”

12.) A role in a midget porno is considered an entry-level position.

13.) In retrospect, there were probably better names for their ramen restaurant than “THICK NOODS” but you know, hindsight and all that.

14.) A version of TAKEN where when Qui-Gon makes all those threats and boasts to the kidnappers on the phone, he just starts singing “I want my baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back…“

15.) Your emo ska song will be called “That’s The Depression That I Get”. It will be terrible but it will be terrible in an interesting way.