au1 in idea barrages

1.) I wonder if when the Powerpuff Girls hit puberty, they’ll grow fingers.

2.) I am irrationally bothered when people speak the phrase Super Mario Brothers out-loud as “Super Mario Bros”. Youtube seems to be the vector of this virus. I don’t think they’re even being ironical, I think they just don’t know/care how stupid that sounds.

3.) “No no no,” his tumblr account replied, “you misunderstand. I’m not vegetarian, I’m Vegeta-tarian. I can only eat anime characters.” It was sadly not the most ridiculous thing written on tumblr even in that one minute it was written.

4.) LinkedIn is just Tinder for people whose fetish is falling for pyramid schemes.

5.) You may not be cruisin’ for a bruisin’ but you may well be askin’ for a waxin’, demandin’ a reprimandin’, whinin’ for a finin’ or hornin’ for a warnin’. There are many levels to The Scale of Rhyming Consequences.

6.) I looked at the table of contents in the coffee table book and found neither coffee nor contentment, only someone else’s words.

7.) Many off-brand soda flavours sound, to some degree, like an imaginary sex act that a 13 year old boy would joke about in the locker room but the champion of this category is definitely “Baja Blast”.

8.) A great name for a minimalist video game would be SPARSE INVADERS.

9.) Why call it a “love hate relationship” when you could call it “Sweet N Loathe”?

10.) Your rap about your love of MAD Magazine will be called “Baby Got Blech”.

11.) Almost no one got rich off the Gold Rush, most of the people got rich selling the prospectors whiskey and picks and provisions and sex until the prospectors went broke. When I hear about “the gig economy” or any other number of tech-douche con jobs, I always remember this.

12.) Six months. Six months and it still feels like last night. Damnation.