jl9 in idea barrages

1.) Your cartoon where Julia Roberts voices a black-widow spider will be called LOVE, EAT PREY.

2.) Ken Burns Jazz, Ken Burns Baseball, Ken Burns Vietnam, WHEN WILL WE STOP THIS ARSONIST NAMED KEN?

3.) Addicted to throwing nuns into liquid nitrogen? Break the habit!

4.) The fundamental human right to know the exact angle where you look the most attractive for social networking profile pictures.

5.) In this set of nightmares, I was part of a group of people held hostage by a demonic cult in my old high school, I don’t know if I was an adult or a high school kid in the dream. They didn’t succeed in summoning their demon but they killed most of us, I was one of the few survivors after seeing a lot of terrible things. Near the end of the dream, I went on someone’s cellphone and upon seeing no mention of the multi-day hostage situation on social media, I realized that it mustn’t have happened, that it was all a dream and I woke up.

6.) The fake president’s entire mental picture of “Latino gangs” from the one time he saw most of “Short Circuit 2” on cable, impatiently waiting for delivery of one of his mail-order brides.

7.) When someone of any gender complain about how any gender “are all cheaters” on facebook, then you recall all the times they’ve thirsted for/dated “exciting” sleazeball humans, you’re reminded it’s not about any gender, it’s about that person not learning from experience. When all your targets look like James Dean, Amy Winehouse, Lil Kim, Brad Pitt, weird youtube make-up obsessives, narcissistic bodybuilders, power-twinks, etc, the problem is you. Those people aren’t built for fidelty.

8.) Nietzsche’s treatise on killing the middle class with scammy “gig economy” freelance work was called “Driver or Uber Driver”.

9.) Justin Bieber seemed to use his wealth to create an opposite-gender clone of himself to get engaged to and, like, I guess that is the Insanely Rich Narcissist’s Dream, right?