jl7 in idea barrages

1.) I love fireworks myself but I have enjoyed this being the 4th of July where everyone who hates fireworks “came out” on social media at once, actually. I don’t know why, I guess I dig witnessing long-standing cultural undercurrents find their nucleation points.

2.) There’s something to said for the people who WOULD support Trump’s ignorant racism but just hate him too much for getting to be the crass consequence-free diarrhea-mouthed slave-laboring multiple-trophy-wived bastard they wish THEY could get to be. There’s a weird honesty to it.

3.) We’re all documenting ourselves more on social media every day than most of the kings and queens and chiefs and generals and great-minds of history ever could’ve hoped for in their lifetimes entire. Oh, no one’s looking and none of it will last but it must count for something?

4.) “Carthaginian? More like CarthagWINNINGan, am I right?” said the world’s least cool history teacher ever, trying her best to engage the kids.

5.) A really really casual tabletop role-playing game called WIZARDS & WHATNOT.

6.) Start a Let’s Play channel on youtube and close every video with the catchphrase “Thanks for playing with me! Now go play with yourselves!”

7.) A dream/nightmare about two sentient movie props that fall and love and after thousands of years of gory recyclings and reconstitutions and reformations, they reunite posing as merchandise of themselves in a museum devoted to old entertainment.

8.) The three unfinished flash fictions on my desktop are about the Rapture, an updated take on Jack’s Beanstalk and the true nature of Frankenberry.

9.) Hey, Bernie dead-enders, now that Trump is working on LITERALLY REVOKING THE CITIZENSHIPS OF HISPANIC AMERICANS, maybe you can finally admit “Yes, I shouldn’t have been an edgelord, I should’ve voted for Clinton like a grown-up.”

10.) A comedy roast is just being good naturedly ribbed, for your pleasure.

11.) Your salty take on an egg nog cocktail will be called “Nog Hammadi, The Egg Sea Scroll”.

12.) Though I don’t write parodies that often lately, snippets still come to me from time to time like “I remember when Iraq was young, me and Cheney had a-so much fun”.

13.) Some Republicans hate regulation so much, they won’t even LISTEN to Warren G.

14.) When you say that you want idealistic things but you want them at a pragmatic pace so they can actually happen and actually stick, you’re going to get attacked by people on all of the sides and that’s when you’ll know you’re on the right track.

15.) Similarly, your rap about European soccer with start with a voice clip of someone yelling “RELEGATORS! MOUUUUUUUUUNT UP!”

16.) Every time a woman or person of color is cast in a Star Wars film, you can smell the “mens rights activists” and “pick-up-artists” of the internet sweat through fedoras with fear, it’s so adorable.