jl5 in idea barrages

1.) It’s too bad D&D already claimed the word because we could totally call baby teeth “tieflings”.

2.) Your story about a rat with a drinking problem whose friends come together to sign it up for an experimental cure will be called “Flowers For Al-Anon”.

3.) A noir version of NEVERENDING STORY called THE MALTESE FALCOR.

4.) If I wandered off and came back six months later conventionally handsome, I would be the most obnoxious person about it for the rest of my life on social media, like, “OH HEY, JUST ME, LOOKIN’ HOT NEXT TO SOME PETS” selfies forever so just thank God I don’t do crunches, huh?

5.) He could barely even leave the frathouse anymore, that’s how brodependent he had become.

6.) You will write an entire Lord of The Rings/Transformers crossover fan-fiction just to get to the “Shire LaBoeuf” joke.

7.) As much as I hope for a blue wave this November, I also admit that when I hear the phrase “blue wave” I think of that weird azure liquid they use in tampon commercials in lieu of admitting that human bodily functions actually happen.

8.) It should be consolation these born-rich simulacra can constitutionally never know for joy, only know for comfort, except that those who’ve seen enough of life to know for real joy find said joy rendered fleeting by the destruction the born-rich endless appetite for comfort sews.