jl1 in idea barrages

1.) A world beholden to folks who need to break, to burn, to tear things down to prove that they are special. Many of ‘em have good intentions, to entertain, to make things better, but in selfishness ignore the unintended consequences. I know who I am, though, & just wanna be humane.

2.) If someone says “namaste” it’s fun to see how long you can make them think you heard “Nam Iced Tea”.

3.) The only thing worse than a new stand-up who is bad is… a comic with a little bit of experience but only in front of friendly crowds who’ll laugh at anything they say. The CONFIDENTLY BAD, in comedy as in governance, are the ones who can REALLY burn things down.

4.) I don’t know who Jason Mantzoukas is but from the name, I hope that he is Jason Mraz’s good twin, the one who got all the last name letters Mraz didn’t get and so he doesn’t take his anger out on the world by making terrible music.

5.) I’ve been working on ramping up for once again winning the Boilermaker by sleeping in past noon in an air conditioned bedroom that day, sleeping in fifteen extra minutes every day, pacing myself, building up my lazing-around stamina. It takes reps!

6.) I have zero respect for John Mayer but I would bump that up to one or two respect if he named a son “Oscar”.

7.) A staging of The Tempest re-contextualized to the end of innocence in the hippie movement after Altamont, Prospero as a broken Timothy Leary type, Caliban as a Hunter S Thompson/Lou Reed cynic driven into wildness.

8.) At the co-op: “You got any potamia in today?” “You’re in lucky, we have a MESS o’ potamia.”

9.) We’ve now all the information in the world since the Library at Alexandria burned at our fingertips, problem is now the crazy & the willfully ignorant now have access to all history’s madness & willful ignorance to back them up. We used to be able to marginalize the crackpots.

10.) Sensitive New Age Guy soft rock gives me hives. I survived the mid to late 90s coffeehouse scene of 10,000 covers of Dave Matthews’ “Crash” by dudes in pukashell necklaces, it gives a dude flashbacks.

11.) If you think “not everything has to be political!” you either don’t understand what politics actually are or how far their effects can actually reach when the system of checks and balances has broken down. As it has, now.

12.) Hipster James Bond orders his martinis “bacon, not stirred”.

13.) Mad Magazine’s cryptocurrency Neucoin is powered by blech-chain technology.

14.) When you call voicemail “Vmail” it sounds like you’re talking about the lesbian version of the Grindr app.

15.) People are getting paid to write Indiana Jones 5 while I’m ALSO writing stuff almost no one wants to see but I’M doing it for free like a SUCKER.