ju28 in idea barrages

1.) If an establishment Democrat won the primary, you vote for them in the general, to oppose Trump. If an outsider Democrat won the primary, you vote for them in the general, to oppose Trump. Some of us lefties screwed this up two years ago and that’s how we got Trump. Never. Again. The monstrous, when met with civility, laugh and stomp on their victims all the harder. That’s why they ask for civility, you know, so they can have a laugh and an excuse to stomp harder. Civility is a wonderful thing to give to those who return it but monsters? Fight monsters. For better & for worse, the good change that tends to stick tends to be the incremental change that slowly gains consensus, proofing it against backlash. Try to do too much too soon, The Bastards use it as an opening to undo damn near everything good ever. This is history’s arc. Not to put too fine a point on it but if you would use a murderous foreign dictator’s spy network to steal the presidency, I have to doubt the sincerity of your valuing “civility”.Another Supreme Court Justice vacancy that the Bernie dead-enders gave to Trump by voting for Stein or writing in Mickey Mouse and, Christ, I just want to throw up. This is exactly what the fall of Rome felt like. Everyone knew the protections against dictatorship were failing but too many people in power had their own power beholden to pretending those mechanisms still worked so they couldn’t stop dictatorship without giving up their slice. There was a thin line of pragmatic centre-left technocrats w/ the experience & courage to compromise & get a bit dirty so as to keep progress rolling, protecting us from the fascists at the gates. Sec. Clinton was emblematic of them. But the edgelords had to edgelord.

2.) LIFE HACK: your dog fall in a vat of tomato juice? neutralize the scent by getting it sprayed by a skunk.

3.) As you’re about to squat onto the toilet, always yell “THIS IS THE START OF A MOVEMENT!” triumphantly.

4.) Taking a train from Norway to Sweden is very healthful as it puts you on a Nordic track.

5.) LIFE HACK: spill some red wine on your best white carpet? don’t worry! just get some club soda, mix it with the remaining wine and drink spritzers until you’re so drunk you no longer care.

6.) LIFE HACK: every few months, put a lemon through your garbage disposal. sewer alligators are notoriously lemon-phobic!

7.) Apparently, six planets will go into retrograde which, of course, will mean absolutely nothing but it’s fun to pretend that there will be a mass rapture of hipsters, so overwhelmed by all of the retro.

8.) Being “the guys who aren’t Edge or Bono in U2” has gotta to be one weird gig. “You’re in a very bad/famous band but you’re the ones no one gives a damn about either way so show up, try to not roll your eyes too much & here’s all the money. You’ve won a very mixed sort of lotto.”

9.) Do you think DMX would’ve picked that stage name if he had known that it would eventually be short-hand for “private message your ex on a social network”?

10.) If a dolphin did cocaine, would it use its blowhole or… would any hole it used to do blow (snout, mouth, whatever) kind of become its blowhole in the linguistic magic of the action?

11.) These days, “Jack and the Beanstalk” would be about Jack investing in Beancoin, there would be no beanstalk but some techdouche giant in The Cloud WOULD eat his money, to be fair.