ju26 in idea barrages

1.) If you’re going to do a musical version of KING KONG, at least have the decency to call it APE MISBEHAVIN’.

2.) (Funko Pops are nerd Beanie Babies.)

3.) Watched the news until I couldn’t take it anymore, wanted to cry, almost threw up and then this sentence floated fully-formed through my head: Any Time, Anyone Anywhere Does Something Selfish, The World Gets A Little Bit Worse.

4.) There are many things I can concede are possible by enthusiastic amateurs with enough study and persistence. Plumbing, government and car repair are three things that do not fall inside that category.

5.) An Alice In Wonderland LARP is sort of the inverse of rap in that the biggest problem is all the Hatter Players.

6.) When Disney inevitably buys Star Trek to go with Star Wars, we will finally get the worst thing of all: the Borg Porg.

7.) On a long enough timeline, eventually Sarah Sanders and Glenn Danzig will age into being identical twins.

8.) Hit on a Mexican wrestler with the line “You’re luchadorable!”

9.) I DID IT ALL FOR THE SNOOPY, FOR ZINGERS, FOR ALL MADISON COOKIES, TO STUFF THEM IN MY face TO STUFF THEM IN MY face

10.) The Masters Of The Universe should’ve had a character who was Eternia’s royal cartographer (and like a space navigator or something) called Merca-Tor and I can say this as a double nerd.

11.) At first I thought it would be funny to start calling dry ice “dryce” but, like, I realized that word is probably always one of those new made-up names rich Bible-thumpers give their boys. Like college lacrosse is probably full of Dryces and I don’t even know it.

12.) “Hand job” is such a tired and vulgar term, why not something new and upbeat like “Thigh five!”?

13.) What was it like at the points in human history when technological development wasn’t so fast? When you couldn’t assume that within your lifetime there would be radical moves forward or, anyway, “forward”? Less obsessed with the future’s presumed “newness”.

14.) Things I miss about Los Angeles: my brother, a small group of close friends, occasionally the weather. Things I miss about New York City: everything other than how expensive everything was and the pervasive faint stench of urine.