ju24 in idea barrages

1.) A travel agency that specializes in political-activism tours called RADICAL DEPARTURES.

2.) An ad for an expectorant medicine that uses the New Radicals’ song “You Get What You Give” reworked to be about how you’ve got the mucus in you.

3.) “You misunderstand, this isn’t a judgment-FREE zone, this is a judgment-FEE zone, if you’re judgmental, you have to pay me money. Pay me money.”

4.) I like to think that Macho Man had an emo twin Andy Savage who instead of yelling “OOOH YEAH!” would sigh and mutter “oh no…” instead.

5.) “If children aren’t American-born whites, they don’t count as human children!” is a hell of a hill these psychos wanna die on.

6.) Trump’s twitter feed is an endless boastful dumber-than-it-could-ever-know meandering super-villain monologue, allowed to ramble for so damn long as to totally collapse into gibberish. Were there any kind of justice in our tale, someone virtuous would’ve shut his gob up long ago.

7.) I can’t be the only one who yells “CIR-CUM-SIZZZZION!” like at the end of a battle in a fighting video game when cutting the tip off a tube of caulk, right?

8.) Were there any “meat cute” jokes in that terrible cartoon movie where hot dogs were men and hot dog buns were women? No, it is not worth paying money for it to get the answer.

9.) A parable on the futility of ever being fully prepared for anything: even if you remember to lock the kitchen trash in the bathroom before you leave, the dog will just knock over a four-box stack so he can rip open the spare bag of cat food and spray it all over the dining room.

10.) In space, it’s not the meteors or potential aliens that should have you concerned, it is the vacuum of space itself that will most likely kill you. You literally have nothing to worry about.

11.) Aren’t Garfield strips without Garfield really just comics, sans?